When you bring another bundle of joy into this world, it is a feeling equally if not more wonderful than the first time you gave birth. If you look back, it is easy to realise that both the times are unlike each other. Each child is special in their own way and their needs right from the start are different; the pregnancy, birth and growing up phases are all different. So you might have experience with one child already, your experience with the second child is still completely unique.
Along with your own involvement in the developing bond, children sometimes take time to get used to each other, to share their space, attention from parents and sharing everyday life.
There are a few ways by which you can promote their individual growth and relationship with each other.
Planning activities together
A commonly known fact is that attachment and affection usually grow between individuals when they spend time together. So when you plan these activities beforehand, you have full control of the situation, you can turn it into a learning opportunity and yet have fun. Since you are supervising and sometimes participating, you can ensure that nothing bad happens, nobody is hurt and your kids don’t start fighting with each other. Doing things together is meaningful and you may even learn something from your kids too. Be sure to not miss out on such family bonding time!
Similarities and Differences
Your elder kid is a fussy eater and the younger one likes to eat happily, yet they both hate drinking milk equally. This is just an example of how your children can have similarities even with inherently different nature. Both your kids are individuals with different personality traits, habits, needs and wants. Yet, being siblings, they may pick up each other’s quirks and habits.
Sometimes, kids also pick up specific routines and habits from you and your partner. Siblings are a curious mix of similarities and differences, you have to acknowledge and learn about both. This way, you can tend to their wellbeing in the best way possible. You will not treat them both exactly the same when you recognize that both of them need to be taken care of in ways specific to them respectively.
You often see on TV how siblings fight about who their mother loves the most. A mother knows though, that all her children are equally loved and cherished. You know that you will never love one of your kids more than the other. Yet, your children don’t always understand this.
Sometimes your actions or words can be misunderstood by children as favouritism. Make your feelings clear by acknowledging individual achievements and talents along with their joint efforts. If you are reprimanding or rewarding one, explain the reason clearly so that the siblings don’t misunderstand rational actions as biased behaviour.
In a similar direction, make sure that any competition between the siblings is a healthy one and not something that may later escalate into grudges and rivalries. The development stage of children is a delicate and sensitive phase, so keep the environment around them happy and loving for both. They will both want your attention and you have to make separate time for both of them.
Don’t forget yourself mama
In the dynamic life of being a mum of two, don’t forget to take a breather from time to time. While your kids are still very young, it will be difficult to manage a sleep schedule that allows you proper rest, but as they grow older, it will be easier. Keep an active lifestyle for your kids so that they can burn off excess energy, tiring themselves out for a sound sleep. Take turns with your partner to entertain your kids, let others take the responsibility sometimes and squeeze in time for yourself.